Train­ing, and the accom­pa­ny­ing cold took me down hard last week, much hard­er than I expect­ed when I felt the first tick­le in my throat last Tues­day. I am final­ly feel­ing a bit of relief and I can actu­al­ly imag­ine feel­ing like myself again with my ener­gy back, but I’m not feel­ing enough relief and not soon enough to erase the huge lump of anger, frus­tra­tion, and sad­ness in my core when I think about the marathon in 6 days. The marathon that I have been train­ing so damn hard for. I’m still not sure what I’m going to do, and I try to keep telling myself that I still have 6 days to get my strength back. Every­one else is telling me that I trained enough even with this set back, but I just don’t know what to expect since this is/could be/should have been my first marathon. I just want­ed to be pre­pared and feel good about it, and I was until my immune sys­tem aban­doned me. I’m always a bit too hard on myself I guess, but I just want­ed my first marathon to go well. I’m try­ing to tell myself and believe oth­ers that I will still be able to fin­ish it, and that is what is impor­tant. Oh, and maybe enjoy­ing it a lit­tle bit.

If I’m going to be stuck in bed and on the couch for 4 of 5 days, then I can at least tack­le a crafts project that I found online. The ongo­ing home dec­o­rat­ing project is going pret­ty well. With Día de los Muer­tos right around the cor­ner, there are plen­ty of craft sup­plies avail­able in great col­ors and with the right types of designs for me. For this project, what I need­ed to start with was a lot of paper with text on it. I’m not in the envi­ron­men­tal pro­gram, but all those dead trees they insist on using dur­ing train­ing piss me off. I thought, what bet­ter than to re-use the hell out of those same train­ing materials.